Zero: Oh, and just for the record...
...I'm not a fan of Cobra GunSkin products... BlackHawk and Tactical Tailor are much better IMO... but the posters are damn cool.

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"Be polite. Be courteous. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet." [RTI] ZeroFunction
Zero: Girls with Guns

Ok, this shit is cool!!! I dunno why, but I think I've become a fan of the "gun babe" art genre... Ok, so maybe I've always been a fan of it. But still... it's... just... cool. In making a collection of this stuff I wish I got the magazine advertisements for the Return to Castle Wolfenstein and Command and Conquer 2 babes (SS Chick and Tanya)... *sigh* Oh, well. I'm sure they'll pop up somewhere.
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"I'm not bad... I'm just drawn that way."[RTI] ZeroFunction
El Feo Kern: A Beautiful Nightmare
well, I'm back at Al Asad again and during my travels (getting straight to the point of my post) i had the chance to watch the movie "A Beautiful Mind".
I was pretty excited about it since alot of people told me it was a great movie, but no one had told me much about the plot.
so needless to say i was giddy with anticipation knowing that
A) it was at least a "good" movie and
B) I knew nothing about it other than it had an actor i dont care to much for playing a guy that's really good with numbers.
So i pulled up a rather marred and twisted hunk of pipe metal with a pad taped to it (the locals called it a "chair") and pretended that the lights dimmed while catching faint whiffs of hot, fresh popcorn (which, out here, smells alot like burnt JP8 fuel btw).
that aside, it was a pleasurable experience...
up until the point i realized that it was a FUCKING HORROR FLICK!!!
DEAR LORD! I watched the last half of that movie through my fingers with my thumbs mashed firmly into my ears! and as i laid there SCREAMING in a pool of my own URINE I thought to my self "self... you're laying on your keys"
~fin~
Seriously that movie fuct me up...
ok, im done.
Jason AKA: [RT] NegativePwr: Cancun Pics
OK,
I am not gonna name names here *Cough*Bob, Kevin and Kern*/Cough*.
I was wondering you guys could send me the Pics you have from Cancun.
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
AND NO MORE SECRET POSTS DAMMIT!
Zero: Speaking of pigs....
Kern, I dunno about the whole code in the Joepieee thing... I think you might be alone on that one... Although I guess if you kind of slow it down half-speed 30 seconds into the song it kind of goes to the beat of the Hymn of the Soviet Union.... Or not. Oh well, I tried.
But speaking of pigs.... Here's something interesting:
Upon hearing news that a whole patrol of his men had been slaughtered and that their bodies were mutilated terribly beyond recognition, General "Black Jack" Pershing of the US Army rounded up the suspected insurgents in a nearby village. He instructed his men to line up the insurgents in the center of the village where everyone could see. Pigs were then marched out in front of the prisoners and then slaughtered. The pigs' blood was poured over the prisoners and their entrails hung around their necks. Each one was then sumarily shot in the head; their bodies eventually buried with the pig carcasses. From that day on, the insurrection ceased almost immediately thereafter.Supposedly, the prisoners were also force-fed pork before their execution... but I can't get anyone to verify that.
The 'insurrgents' were muslim. And the 'insurrection' refferred to above was the Philippine-American War. Am I alluding to something here? Probably... But
if I am I'm not gonna spell it out for anyone...

Yes, that's a .45 caliber Long Colt Single Action Army... the other half of that victory. It's also the father of the M1911 and the .45 acp. Amen.Cлава к Oтечеству
anonymous 1: if you fuck a zombie are you a necropheliac? it's not technically dead. id imagine that it would be decayed and disgusting to eat. unless they just died or something
anonymous 0: but not disgusting to fuck?
anonymous 1: /shrug
anonymous 0: heheh
anonymous 1: all depends on how "fresh" they are i guess
anonymous 0: fresh for an hour. that should be more than enough time
anonymous 1: to fuck AND eat them
anonymous 0: another odd sentence out of context...
anonymous 1: in that order of course
anonymous 0: and another. :P
anonymous 1: what, its not weird IN context? "oh its not what your thinking, were talking about zombies"
anonymous 0: bwahahahaha! hel-loooooo LJ quote!
anonymous 1: fuck!
anonymous 0: and eat. zombies. - some random online funny as fuck conversation
[RTI] ZeroFunction
El Feo Kern: minutes of my life... wasted
in my failing attempts to contain the daily IT "toxic spills" at this forsaken site, so i can have at least some shread of hope that i might get to bed before midnight (someone call me a wahmbulance), i had to watch the
JOEPIEEE one last time.
I laughed,
I cried,
AND HAD TO FIGURE OUT THE FUCKIN CODE!!!
"what code?" you ask?!
come on ... you FOOLS! tell me you see it too!
this cant just be some jolly, fat, farting fuck of a pig, can it?!
NO!
THIS MEANS SOMETHING I TELL YOU
IT... MUST... MEAN ... SOMETHING!!!
conatin a coded map to lost treasure
digitally concealed details of the JFK assassination
KEYS TO THE BINDING LOCKS FROM WHICH THE TERRIBLE SECRETS OF SPACE SHALL SPEW LIKE AN OVERLOADED CHEERLEADER AT THE PEAK OF THE FRAT PARTY
GOD AS MY WITNESS I
WILL HAVE THE GOLDEN NUGGET OF KNOWLEDGE, (deep dramatic breath),
I
WILL EAT THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT OF THE CURSED TREE AS I MAKE A BELT OUT OF THE SLIMY SNAKE THAT LED ME TO IT, (breath x2)
I...
WILL...
HAVE IT!!!!
THAT PIG HAS REALLY PISSED ME OFF!
I'm so fuckin pissed right now im not even gonna spell check this moefoe!
THATS RIGHT, YOU HEARD ME!!! noooooo spellcheck - ha HA!
im pissed AND crazy
why hell... i think I'm just gonna go find me a baby seal to club to death before i go to bed tonight... then, in the morning, im gonna make a sock puppet out of him and preach the gospel with his cute little eviscerated corpse... i will convince the locals that it's Jesus and demand they pay for their sins upfront in nothing but pork products!
wooo...
i think i need some fresh air
looks like i'll need my walkin shoes again... unfortunatly, they still need more cowbell
vasnt that vierd?
The truth is out there ::queue spooky high-pitched music::
Zero: Belated Stuff
Kevin, Happy B-day. Sorry it took awhile, but I've been moving around a lot. (That's my official excuse and I'm sticking to it)
Josh, Dude that was quite disturbing yet entertaining at the same time. I'm so confused...
Ashley, Wow. I'm glad you liked the post. Now all we need to do is help you find the gun that's right for you. May I suggest the ParaOrdnance Warthog pocket .45? If not, I hear Springfield Armory *rock!* has some XDs at quite a reasonable price. Give me a call sometime and we'll discuss it over lunch.
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"Beware the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword.It both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind. . . . And when the drums of war have reached a fever pitch and the blood boils with hate and the mind has closed, the leader will have no need in seizing the rights of the citizenry. Rather, the citizenry, infused with fear and blinded with patriotism, will offer up all of their rights unto the leader, and gladly so. How do I know?For this is what I have done. And I am Caesar. "[RTI] ZeroFunction
Jason AKA: [RT] NegativePwr: KEVIN'S B-DAY
KEVIN HOLY SHIT IT WAS YOU
BIRTHDAY!!!@$@#$#%@)@#%())*(@#%_)%*()#@
That is awesome.... I hope you had a beer or several for me. I wish I was there but you know how it goes...... I am down at the outside bar and cannot visit you and Bob at the inside bar until sometime in August. However I am sure the inside bar tenders showed you and Bob a good time. Carlos and Omar say Happy B-Day as well. I would have posted earlier but you know how hard it is to get to an internet connection when you are sitting in a outside bar in Mexico but whatever.... I will take a Mexican shot for you tonight...
El Feo Kern: פ[>x Ï x<]¤×
Still not funny "haha", but here it goes...
Kevin: IT'S YOUR BDAY?! ... err yesterday... i knew that... no really i remembered... i'm just fuckin with ya ... heh
(sorry bro, i forgot - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, btw)
Bob: thanks for the headsup on the bday thing yo... no more lovin for you.
Jason: BRING IT DOWN... BRING IT ALL DOWN!
Gerry: mighty fuck that was a good post... so many great ones (you highlighted the best ones dead on), but the truest one for me was
"21. Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet."(second place is a toss up between 11
*Damn straight* and 23)
Ashley: the closest cell tower is in northern fallujah... guess i better put on my walkin shoes!
(my walkin shoes need more cowbell)
Jason AKA: [RT] NegativePwr: COPS!!!! Live From BAGHDAD!!!!!!
Whatup,
Well back inthe sandbox again. Hopefully not for too long however.
Just a little annoucement. I have decided that I will be rturning from Iraq in the somewhat near future. The time of my departure will be in August. I am hoping for August 1st but during a negotiation I have agreed to stay until my site closes or August 31st at the very latest.
So somewhere between August 1st and August 31st look for me on the horizon. I'm comin home.....
Zero: Welcome back Jason and Kern...
...And just for the sake of being totally off topic, always remember these rules for gun fighting:
1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns.
2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
3. Only hits count. A close miss is still a miss.
4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough nor using cover correctly.
5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movements are preferred.)
6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun.
7.
In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived. (except me, I remember that kind of stuff)
8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.
9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.
10. Use a gun that works EVERY TIME.
11. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun,
but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.12. Always cheat = always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose. Have a plan.
13. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.
14. Use cover and concealment as much as possible.
15. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
16. Never drop your guard.
17. Always tactically reload and threat scan 360 degrees.
18. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In god we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them).
19. Decide to be AGGRESSIVE enough, QUICKLY enough.
20. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot up you will get.
21.
Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet.22. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
23.
Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a "4". 24. Your number one option for personal security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

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"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?'
And the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'"[RTI] ZeroFunction
El Feo Kern: aaaall my ex's live in Texas...
... That's why i hang my hat in Iraq.
that's right all you zaney kids, I'm finally "home" again
i'm tryin real hard to think of something witty, but it just aint happenin.
the trip from kuwait to [home] has really kicked my ass this time around.
(I feel like microwaved dog poo - *DING!*).
anyway, all you peeps back stateside - have a drink for me please.
I'll post when i'm funny again.
(funny "haha" not funny "eww"... so it my be a while)
let go, let gojump in
Shell: I agree
I tend to think the military people (as a whole) should get more money. As should fire fighters, police men etc etc. The jobs in which people face danger to protect the average joe. While I sit comfortably behind my desk making twice as much, Its just not right (thats the reasoning behind the nursing thing btw). I personally would much rather they get paid what I do and vice versa. In my mind they are the reason I have the freedom and opportunity I do; so they deserve the credit monetarily as well as the respect they already recieve.
Now this gets me into a huge rambling about the support our troops magnets on cars which I will not go into great detail on .... the basic idea is that the people around here who have those stickers all over their gas guzzling SUV's, are going to be the same people would fight anything that might hit them in the pocket book (taxes) to give the military better. Now I'm gonna shut up because someone might get confused and think I am not a liberal hippie (which I am dammit)....
On your point - I don't even get how this is even right the people in the towers/pentagon were there to work they didn't choose to face danger head on, kind of a wrong place/time thing. They're families are suffering I'm sure but no more than the military families. It really bothers me that it seems ok to us to pay the families off, or that the OKC people can come back a decade later and say hey we want to put our grubby hands in that pot. Noone suffered enough for a million dollars thats alot of freaking money.
Zero: What's a Military Family Worth?
What's a Military Family Worth?
by Rush Limbaugh
March 11, 2002
I think the vast differences in compensation between the victims of the September 11th casualty, and those who die serving the country in uniform, are profound. No one is really talking about it either because you just don't criticize anything having to do with September 11th. Well, I just can't let the numbers pass by because it says something really disturbing about the entitlement mentality of this country.
If you lost a family member in the September 11th attack, you're going to get an average of $1,185,000. The range is a minimum guarantee of $250,000, all the way up to $4.7 million.
If you are a surviving family member of an American soldier killed in action, the first check you get is a $6,000 direct death benefit, half of which is taxable. Next, you get $1,750 for burial costs. If you are the surviving spouse, you get $833 a month until you remarry. And there's a payment of $211 per month for each child under 18. When the child hits 18, those payments come to a screeching halt.
Keep in mind that some of the people that are getting an average of $1.185 million up to $4.7 million are complaining that it's not enough. We also learned over the weekend that some of the victims from the Oklahoma City bombing have started an organization asking for the same deal that the September 11th families are getting. In addition to that, some of the families of those bombed in the embassies are now asking for compensation as well.
You see where this is going, don't you?
Folks, this is part and parcel of over fifty years of entitlement politics in this country. It's just really sad.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/deathpay.asp---------------------------------------------------------------
This is pretty disgusting IMO. Especially when you consider the life insurance money that supplements the million plus dollars they've already recieved. And to think that they are asking for more? I can't fucking believe it... These people were VICTIMS. They are
NOT Martyrs. They are
NOT Heroes. And while it sucks what happened to them, they surely don't
deserve to be
given millions of dollars and benefits over the men and women who willingly fight and die honorably for this country/flag/political aristocracy.
I'm not apologizing for this rant either. The fact that some of my hard-earned money has been taken by the government and given lavishly to these VictimS who never ever have to work again gives me the right to bitch.
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Answer: Arthur Miller. Fuck yeah. *throws the Horns up*[RTI] ZeroFunction
Anonymous: Yar!!!
[...ENVY...]
Anonymous: * sight *
Sorry i didnt make it up to Sharkys the see you guys off, I wish you guys well, and have a good trip. i got flanked tonight by an issue i thought i could resolve pretty quick, it instead kept me for a while. Anyways... have a good one.... and remember Baby Oil for sand fleas and sand flies
Zero: Ha Ha
That was thoroughly entertaining. Now I need a change of pants. Thanx.
***
Off topic...
http://www.defenseoffreedom.com/It's nice to know we can get a medal at least...
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Trivia: Who said, "Betrayal is the only truth that sticks..." Good luck. No Cheating.[RTI] ZeroFunction
Jason AKA: [RT] NegativePwr: My God....
OMG,
You are correct. That is a video of me when I was 13 years old trying to get my music career started. That video is one I sent into several prominent record companies. Unfortunately I got replies telling me I was far too talented andwas ahead of my time. One record company just sent back a bag with some vomit in it but I am not sure if that is a good or bad thing/......Thoughts?
Anonymous: OMG
Amy: .... i... I almost really hate to say this...
...but i see it...
Kern: Happy Birthday!
Shell: kern
happy birthday your as old as me now =)
me: Kern`
Happy Birthday I will buy you some string cheese
Zero: Re:'s
Thanks for all the B-Day wishes. Heh, it's one of the few days I even bother to celebrate anymore. Thanx... 'Means a lot.
I know I've been gone for awhile... I guess that means the vacation is going better than I thought... OR maybe it's only now that I've FINALLY found a high-speed connection worth a shit... Heh heh... I'm not telling.
Things have been good and I'm glad to finally be some place warm. I've also managed to somehow steer clear of getting totally wasted and drunk... ... ... Which is good.
[RT] K01e (Adam): Catch up with my mom sometime so you can get the things I sent you for your B-Day. The CD, I know, is long overdue... sorry 'bout that. The other one I hope you like. Oh, and MGS 3 fuckin' rocks!!!
Kern: Happy B-Day, man. (...if it's not today, it's tomorrow) ;-)
Jason/Kern: Have fun on your R&R. Fuck, I know I should have something witty to add to that... but whatever. Take Care.
Anna: Thanks for the pics. Everyone here (the Philippines) says hi. (No you can't drive the car) :-)
Jaz/El: Heh, thanks for the kind words. I hope you guys and the kid are doing ok. (No, you can't drive the car) (-:
Michelle: Good luck with your barbecue... sorry I couldn't be there... I know, I know... It just wouldn't be the same without me. *sigh* Oh, well. Remember the Lea&Perrins *glare* Have fun.
Tim-eh!!!: Tim-ehh!!!!
Josh: She can be a little shy sometimes... but I can assure you, she talks.
"WTF?!" you may ask? "A post from Gerry without pics?"
Don't worry they're coming.
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Liz: Heh, yeah I'm still on R&R. Thanks for the email... and no I didn't 'start' any kissing marathons! (yet) ^_^[RTI] ZeroFunction
Shell: ya know
my nights are much less fun without you people to keep me company but you'll be home in the
next few days so its all good.
Final post about this BTW - I have invitations (rave type postcard things) for everyone. The last obstacle (someone to run the grill) got solved today so all is well and good. I'm thinking I'll have a special type cake just for Jason's urinating fascination.
Bob - has graciously offered to take whats left of the keg for me afterwards (it was very hard thing to convince him to do).
Kender - I need your phone number please email me it.
Ashley - hopefully I see you in the next few days, I have been able to get in touch or run into everyone except for you. I left you a message the other night.
Everyone else will get a call/visit from me at whatever place I normally see you, on Wednesday or Thursday. That's all.
Anonymous: A Woman For Gerry... Where ever you may be...

And Happy Birthday Mr. Bob, who's bday lasts for a mear moment (i.e. Less than 1/10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000th of a second.) Im looking for a pic of a grrl for you to.. but its easier to find hot russian girls possibly holding sub machineguns, than it is to search for a preferance i have no clue about. Oh wait... I do have one...brb to edit this post

hope ive brought some visual joy to your days :)
[RT]s.xX-Kender-Xx
S for Support.
(|-=[ As in Support our home boi's and troops, or Shut the f*ck up!!! ]=-|)
RockOut!!![Note: Edited]